The fear of asking… and how to beat it for good
I've trained hundreds of campaigners in how to make an ask: here's my advice.
There's one thing that unites all of us as committed campaigners: we have to ask for things all the time. We ask people we may never have met before for their votes, their money, and their time. We know it's a vital and powerful part of mobilising supporters to create change, so it should be easy to motivate ourselves and others to do it, right? And yet, one of the starkest contrasts I’ve found between campaigns in North America and those in Europe, the UK, the Middle East and Africa, is how much more comfortable our American counterparts are with making a hard ask.
Here's an example: after President Obama’s successful re-election campaign in 2012, the campaign team studied their approach to volunteer mobilisation. Obama’s grassroots campaign had always been seen as especially strong, yet the report showed that 71% of volunteers were asked to help while only 29% volunteered themselves (by signing up online or contacting the campaign directly). The campaign's fundamental strength was its ability and willingness to ask others for help.
When I trained campaign managers, organisers and volunteers, one of my favourite training exercise involved spending an hour making phone calls to strong supporters, in order to ask them to volunteer. Some people took to it like ducks to water, while others showed real reluctance and discomfort during this practical exercise.
This kind of asking is important. We cannot expect people to come to us: we must engage them and ask them to join us. Today's post is all about how to do that. Read on if you're struggling with this skill in your own work, or if you want a starting point for training others.
Believe in what you’re doing and know why you're doing it
If you don’t believe in your cause, then why should anyone want to come and join you? Enthusiasm and energy are contagious: bring them to these conversations and project your excitement about making a difference.
People who join a political party or campaigning organisation want to get involved in some way. Many expect and want to be asked to do more. They might not know what tasks and opportunities are available, so tell them and explain why it's important. In my experience, if people don’t want to do something, they will find an opportunity to say no. Don't remove their choice to have a greater impact before they've had the chance to say yes.
Don't let the fear of the unknown get in your way
I’m hugely experienced in training people on capacity building and campaigns, especially taking solid best practices from the States and localising them for Europe, the Middle East and Africa. I often find that what gets in the way of people adopting solid capacity-building techniques centered around asking is the fear of the unknown, and of truly committing to a new course of action.
Often when I've introduced new concepts that have proven successful elsewhere, I’ve been met with hesitance and reluctance. People worry about the culture fit of new techniques, fear coming across different use-cases that they won't know how to handle, and assume that if they've never done it before it won't work.
This leads to a lack of buy-in at all levels of the campaign. People don't see a clear throughline from theory to practice and so they back off. That's a fatal error, and it sabotages the success of powerful new engagement techniques. Pilot projects fail or are too limited, and as a result, there's no appetite for a change in the culture around asking. Further, there's no self-reflection around the process - what wasted time and effort!
Who are you asking? Target your ask
Being selective is a good thing. I’ve spoken about the ladder of engagement previously, and the importance of meeting people where they are. It’s important to try to understand people’s previous involvement in your cause, what motivates them and what gives them purpose. If you know this, then it’s easier to frame a request appropriately.
What are you going to ask for? Be specific
Be clear and specific about tasks, roles, time commitment and required skills or training. If someone can’t picture themselves doing the work, or doesn't know what you’re actually asking for, it's unlikely they will volunteer to do it.
Why are you asking and why should they do it now?
Creating a sense of urgency is important when getting people motivated and involved. Explain why you need their help now. How do they fit into the big picture activities? Centre your asks on the specific impact a person can have by showing up for you next week, next month, before the next election. Create and communicate milestones, highlighting key deadlines and talking about the potential for change.
How are you asking? Avoid cognitive overload
I’ve previously spoken about the importance of not overloading people's cognitive skills when making an ask in an email, and the same goes for a verbal ask.
My son is nineteen months old and knows his own mind. He isn't shy about letting me know he wants me to carry him when we’re out and about, but hauling 14kg of toddler around gets tiring fast. So I ask him, “do you want to walk or be in the stroller?”
Adults are much the same in this regard. Frame your ask as an either/or question. Would they like to stuff envelopes or make phone calls? Canvas door to door regularly or help out at a single event? This way you make the assumption that the person will say yes to one of the two options. They'll likely join you in that assumption.
Then, keep things simple by being clear and not waffling. If that's hard for you (it is for me), practice your ask. Write it out, say it out loud, practice, and repeat. Don't preempt excuses by putting words in people’s mouths, such as “I know you’re busy”. Let them tell you they're busy, otherwise, you might find that you've just helped them say no.
When is it time to ask and when is it time to be quiet? Silence can be a strength.
Anyone who knows me knows this is a muscle I have to continue to build over and over again. Stop and give people a chance to respond. You don’t have to fill the silence immediately. Count to ten, take a few deep breaths and wait.
Use active listening before you assume the answer is no
You’re not always going to get a yes right away when you ask, and that’s okay. When you think you hear a soft no, ask follow up questions to check your understanding and gather more information. If you've targeted your individuals carefully, you're unlikely to hear that someone doesn't ever want to help you. Instead, they might be saying:
No, not this specific task or issue.
No, not this time or date.
No, not at this location.
Reflect back what you’re hearing to check for understanding. Say, “It sounds like you're not interested in door-to-door canvassing because you’re not as active as you used to be. Would you prefer to help us phone canvass or stuff envelopes in the office instead?”
Are you building for the long term?
Especially as a result of the pandemic, I’m seeing campaigns care more about creating connections with their people, volunteers and members. Some focus has shifted towards creating community, because campaigns aren't able to operate as normal and fill typical volunteer roles.
When I first started to train people on asking more effectively, I often spoke about being respectfully persistent and asking consistently. We can't be transactional and measure success by counting bums in seats. When someone gets involved it should be truly and mutually beneficial. Making the ask isn't just about getting volunteers right now - it’s about building something together that gets people coming back.